Hearing that Daoist Buyu was locked up in prison, Lu Yang blurted out, "Master got thrown in jail again?"
Wait, why did I say "again"?
Yun Zhi let out a soft sigh and nodded. "As much as I loathe to admit it, that is indeed the case.
"Even though I have told Master multiple times, 'Whenever you stir up trouble in the future, just don't mention your disciples.'
"Still, we are master and disciples after all. Even if Master embarrasses himself out in the world, if we run into him in public, we must still address him as 'Master' and cannot pretend we don't know him."
"...So the emphasis just now was on the word 'Master,' not on why he ended up in prison in the first place?"
"Master sent a letter hoping someone would be dispatched to bail him out. By customary practice, it was usually Fourth Elder who went to fish him out. This time, seeing that Master happens to be right here in Dayan Commandery, we can pay the old man a visit once we wrap up matters regarding the Immortal Ruins, and see what landed him behind bars this time around."
"Does Master go to prison often?"
"It cannot really be considered often. It is just that the amount of time he has spent in prison cells is longer than that of most jailers."
"..."
"Given Master's unique experiences, he felt that over the course of one's life, one ought to leave something behind. Thus, drawing upon his personal experiences, he authored a book, which even received the court's endorsement."
Lu Yang grew curious. "What did the old man write?"
"'Two Thousand Years of Changing Prison Environments in the Great Xia Dynasty.'"
Yun Zhi casually reeled off a few examples: "I heard that back in the era of the Nine Scions of the Dao Seeking Sect, Master's most frequent pastime was flying his sword under the influence of alcohol, which constituted the crime of reckless driving. Every time, he had to be locked up in jail for several months."
Yun Zhi explained further, providing Lu Yang with a primer on the current state of the Great Xia Dynasty's legal system: "This is actually the penal law most frequently violated by cultivators. It isn't just flying swords, either; there are flying gourds, flying jade flutes, and the like. After drinking, many cultivators refuse to use their dharmic powers to dissolve the alcohol, soaring through the sky completely plastered. The Great Xia Dynasty has banned it repeatedly to no avail.
"Master also once posed as a fortune-teller. Looking calm and poised, he told a customer, 'You will be swindled out of your money today. If you wish to avoid being cheated, you must spend money to avert disaster.' The customer believed Master's words and produced spirit stones, asking Master to ward off the calamity. Master pocketed the spirit stones and said, 'See? I told you that you would be cheated today. Quite accurate, wasn't it?'
"Then he was thrown into jail."
Daoist Buyu had done far too many absurd things for Yun Zhi to list them all in a short time, so she merely picked a few random examples to illustrate her point for Lu Yang.
"Junior Brother, I wonder if you have heard of a spell Master once created called 'Size Manipulation (Localized Edition)'? It is simple to pick up and very easy to learn."
Lu Yang nodded. The wondrous technique that altered a man's lower parts and a woman's upper parts—of course he had heard of it. He had even wanted to study it a bit, but he had simply never found the opportunity.
"Originally, the imperial court intended to convict Master of manufacturing, reproducing, publishing, selling, and disseminating obscene materials for profit. Fourth Elder stepped forward and argued vehemently on principle, insisting that Master's manual was merely a health-cultivating art and carried no lewd connotations. In the end, the court took a step back, deciding not to deem Master guilty of a crime, but it did require him to cease distributing the spell and made him pay back the taxes on the book sales."
"Fourth Elder is truly righteous!" Lu Yang had not expected that Fourth Elder, who normally found Master an eyesore, would step up at a critical juncture to spare Master from prison.
Yun Zhi glanced at Lu Yang and said blandly, "Because Fourth Elder was also involved in the sales. If Master had been convicted, he would not have escaped unscathed either.
"Or rather, if Master had been found guilty, the Nine Scions of the Dao Seeking Sect would have been wiped out in one fell swoop, reuniting behind bars.
"Regardless, that venture earned Master a fortune. It was the period when he was wealthiest, spending money like dirt and not treating spirit stones as spirit stones in the slightest.
"Master once imitated the Supreme Elder by visiting a brothel. At the time, Master was decked out in gold and silver, exuding the air of a nouveau riche. The madam beamed from ear to ear, convinced he was a major patron. Later, Master demanded an official invoice from the brothel. The madam's face darkened; thinking Master was there to stir up trouble, she refused to issue one.
"Master believed the brothel's conduct amounted to tax evasion, so he went to the yamen to lodge a complaint against them. In the end, the authorities determined that the brothel had evaded taxes and locked up the madam, and determined that Master had engaged in soliciting prostitution and locked Master up as well.
"After the era of the Nine Scions of the Dao Seeking Sect drew to a close and the Supreme Elder went into seclusion, leaving the nine of them in command of the Dao Seeking Sect, Master still didn't settle down.
"As you know, the Grand Elder has a fondness for building graves. Master accompanied the Grand Elder out, traveling all over to construct tombs. While excavating a pit for a grave, the two of them happened upon a real tomb. People mistook them for grave robbers and reported them to the authorities. When the authorities sent men to arrest them, the two thought zombies had appeared and nearly came to blows with them."
Listening from within the spiritual space, the Immortal Fairy clicked her tongue in amazement. The Dao Seeking Sect truly possessed an abundance of remarkable and eccentric figures; staying inside Lu Yang's spiritual space was genuinely broadening her horizons.
Lu Yang: "..."
Lu Yang felt that with the Immortal Fairy before him and Daoist Buyu behind him, caught in a pincer between the two, it was truly no easy feat that he had managed to steadfastly adhere to his original heart, conducting his affairs pragmatically and behaving as an honest, upright person.
"Isn't the old man in the Body Integration stage? How did he get caught?"
As the sect master of the Dao Seeking Sect, a pinnacle cultivator of the Body Integration stage—perhaps even the strongest in that realm—even if all the people in Dayan Commandery were stacked together, they would be no match for Daoist Buyu.
How could he still be captured?
"Master says that enduring imprisonment is part of secular cultivation."
"Then does breaking out of prison count as part of secular cultivation?"
Yun Zhi remained silent for a long time, giving Lu Yang a profound look. "Do not ask Master that question. I fear it might give him ideas."
Lu Yang scratched his head and uttered an "Oh." "I have one more question."
"What is it?"
"Aren't we supposed to be visiting a prisoner? Why are we eating right now?"
At this moment, Lu Yang and Yun Zhi were seated in a private dining room, with a dazzling array of delicacies spread out before them.
Upon returning from the Immortal Ruins, Yun Zhi had not gone straight to the prison. Instead, she had brought Lu Yang to the finest restaurant in Dayan Commandery, ordering every local specialty on the menu, which made Lu Yang's eyelid twitch uncontrollably.
He dearly wanted to ask: Master is locked up not far away, so isn't it a bit inappropriate for the two of us to be feasting extravagantly right here?
Considering that the person sitting opposite him was Eldest Senior Sister, he ultimately lacked the courage to voice it.
Yun Zhi took a bite of a steamed beef ball. The meatball was chewy and firm, bursting with juice at the first bite, leaving her thoroughly satisfied.
Setting down her chopsticks, Yun Zhi explained expressionlessly, "Junior Brother, you must understand what Master is: he is our elder. What an elder wishes most to see is for the younger generation to be healthy and thrive. With us eating well and sleeping well here, I imagine that once the old man learns of our current situation from inside the prison, he will beam with joy."
Lu Yang felt that Eldest Senior Sister's words made plenty of sense, yet something about it felt strangely off.
He felt that his brain had not been working very well lately. Could it be a lingering aftereffect of practicing the Huang Doudou Fist?
Chapter 284